Don’t let your ego get too close to your position so that if your position gets shot down your ego doesn’t go with it.
By: Colin Powell
Imagine standing at the edge of a cliff, your toes just barely overhanging the precipice. The wind is strong, and it’s carrying the sounds and scents of the world below up to your perch. You’re here because you’ve climbed this mountain, you’ve earned this view, and you’re proud of it. But as you stand there, you realize that the ground beneath you is crumbling. What do you do? Do you cling to the spot where you stand because you’ve worked so hard to get there, or do you step back, reassess, and find a new path forward?
This is the essence of the wisdom shared by Colin Powell: the understanding that our positions—whether in our careers, our personal lives, or our beliefs—are not static, and they are certainly not infallible. They are susceptible to change, to challenge, and yes, to failure. But it is not the failure of these positions that defines us; it is how we respond to that failure.
Ego is a tricky thing. It’s part of what drives us to achieve, to push forward, to insist on our own worth. But it can also blind us, make us brittle and defensive. When we tie our ego too closely to our position, we risk not just the position itself, but our sense of self-worth. We become less able to adapt, to learn, and to grow.
Positions, on the other hand, are the roles we play, the opinions we hold, the hills we choose to die on. They are important, but they are not us. They are not our identity. They are simply points on the map of our journey through life.
So how do we separate our ego from our position? It starts with self-awareness. Recognize that you are more than your job title, your political stance, or your social status. You are a complex, evolving individual capable of change and growth. When you understand this, you can hold your positions lightly, ready to adjust them when new information or circumstances arise.
It also requires humility. Be willing to be wrong. Be open to other perspectives. Listen more than you speak. When you approach life with a sense of curiosity rather than defensiveness, you create space for learning and growth.
Finally, it’s about resilience. When a position you hold is challenged or “shot down,” as Powell puts it, see it as an opportunity. What can you learn from this experience? How can it help you refine your ideas or approach? Resilience is not about never falling; it’s about learning how to get back up.
Change is inevitable. Challenge is unavoidable. But both are also opportunities. When we stop seeing change and challenge as threats to our ego, we can embrace them as pathways to improvement. We can innovate, adapt, and become more effective in our pursuits.
Think of a business that refuses to adapt to new technology because the CEO is too attached to “the way things have always been done.” That business is likely to fail. Now, consider a CEO who sees new technology as an opportunity to improve and grow the business. That CEO is positioning the company for success.
The same principle applies in our personal lives. When we cling too tightly to our current positions—whether they’re opinions, habits, or goals—we close ourselves off to the richness of life’s experiences. When we let go of the need to always be right, we open ourselves up to new relationships, new adventures, and new ways of seeing the world.
There’s a certain joy that comes with flexibility, with the ability to pivot and adapt. It’s the thrill of learning a new skill, the satisfaction of changing a long-held opinion in the face of compelling evidence, the excitement of starting a new venture.
When we detach our ego from our positions, we become more playful, more creative, more joyful. We can experiment with life, try on new roles, explore new ideas. And if these new ventures don’t work out? That’s okay. Our ego isn’t on the line. We can simply try something else.
Ultimately, detaching our ego from our position is about living a life of growth. It’s about recognizing that we are works in progress, always learning, always evolving. It’s about striving to be better, not just to be right.
So, as you stand on that metaphorical cliff, with the ground crumbling beneath you, remember that it’s okay to step back. It’s okay to find a new path. Your worth is not tied to this single spot on the mountain. Your worth is in the climb, in the journey, in the resilience you show when faced with a new challenge.
And with each step back, with each new path you forge, you’ll find that your view of the world becomes a little bit wider, a little bit more beautiful. Because you’re not just standing still, clinging to one spot. You’re moving forward, and there’s no telling what incredible vistas you’ll discover along the way.
It means that you should not tie your self-worth or identity too closely to a particular role, title, or belief you hold. This way, if that role or belief is challenged or fails, your self-esteem and confidence are not completely shattered.
By separating ego from position, a person in business can remain open to feedback, adapt to changes, and make decisions that are best for the company rather than their self-image. This flexibility can lead to greater success and innovation.
Strategies include practicing self-awareness, embracing humility, being open to being wrong, listening to others, and focusing on resilience and learning from failures rather than dwelling on them.
Being willing to be wrong allows for growth and learning. It encourages a culture of open communication and continuous improvement, which can lead to better decision-making and innovation in business.
A position being “shot down” could be a business strategy that fails, a product that does not sell as expected, or an idea that is rejected by colleagues or clients. It’s any situation where an expected outcome does not materialize, and the stance or approach is proven ineffective or incorrect.
Resilience is the ability to recover from difficulties. When separating ego from position, resilience allows individuals to bounce back from setbacks without taking them personally, and to use them as learning experiences for future success.
Change and challenge can be reframed as opportunities when they are viewed as chances to learn, grow, and innovate rather than as threats to one’s ego or current position.
Living a life of growth means embracing the idea that you are always learning and evolving. It involves seeking out new experiences, knowledge, and skills, and being open to changing your mind or approach based on new information.
Flexibility allows individuals to adapt to new situations, overcome challenges, and seize opportunities for improvement. It helps maintain balance and reduces the stress that comes from clinging too tightly to rigid positions or expectations.
When ego is detached from position, failures and setbacks are less personal and more manageable. This detachment allows individuals to experiment, take risks, and enjoy the process of learning and growing without the fear of damaging their self-worth.
